


Hope - Old 2nd Person

by DerpyPandaQueen



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Eventual Smut, F/F, Intersex, Self-Indulgent, Slow Burn, Student is 18, Teacher-Student Relationship, Urban Fantasy, extremely so, hopefully also you-indulgent, i guess?? i'm not sure if that's right but far be it from to not tap into as many tags as i can, i think, idk how long it's gonna take, like really eventual tho sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24424423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerpyPandaQueen/pseuds/DerpyPandaQueen
Summary: Parvati Korrapati, a Switcher, has a new math teacher, and she's glorious. Mostly fluff with some angst I guess?This is a story that has been very near to my heart for a long time, that I'm finally deciding to write. It started as me imagining what my perfect life would be when I was struggling to be happy, and it really blossomed into something so much more beautiful over time. I never expected to be able to do it justice with words, which is why it took so long to start writing, but I'm really proud of how it turned out, and I can't wait to keep writing more! Enjoy~EDIT: This is an old version of my current fic. It was in 2nd person, now it's in 1st person. You can find the new version here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25542664/chapters/61977130
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 3





	1. Death of the Author

**Author's Note:**

> This 1st chapter is pretty heavy but I promise it gets lighter. And then darker for a chapter, but then lighter! And it pretty much stays that way from then on. Feel free to skip this chapter if you want to get straight to the story, this is just a short lil thing for me.

For Chapter 1, this will be the author, Jade speaking. I don't have any particular beliefs about what will happen when I die, but I have some very strong hopes. I hope that I will wake up, cured of my various mental illnesses, in front of the being that can only be described as God. I hope this God will tell me that I am free to do whatever I want, be whatever I want. 

I hope that two more figures appear in front of me. Other people, here in this place with me. They will both be women, one Indian and one Nigerian. One named Parvati, the other named Sofia. They are beautiful and they are holding hands. I hope they will not hate me too much. I hope they will tell me that they were watching over me when I was Patrick, as the intrusive thoughts plagued me. Thoughts that I defied by imagining the bloody torture of rapists and pedophiles. 

I hope they will tell me that they were not too offended by my early, fumbling imaginations of the two women finding each other and falling in love, almost six years before this writing. I expect this only to a small degree, but perhaps my later imaginations will be so sweet as to make up for it. 

I hope more than anything that they will give me their blessing, to become Parvati in a more thorough way than most of the dead live new lives. I imagine the majority live something and come back from it, the same person they were when they died. I hope to go away, no more Jade, just Parvati. Perhaps she will still be connected to Jade's family. I hope to live the life that brought Parvati to where she stands in front of Jade, in a timefucky way only Heaven can provide. 

I hope it goes a little something like this.


	2. A Heart Stops

The date is August 11, 2008. You are an 18 year old Indian girl sitting at a desk in a private school/orphanage in New York City. Your name is Parvati Korrapati. Two Indian names given to you by Americans. Your parents did not deign to give you a name, though they did bother to give you to the school rather than an alley. You don't know their circumstances and only sometimes harbor hard feelings. The effect of these feelings will probably have little impact on the story. You do sometimes wonder if they left you because you're a Switcher or because of your genetic peculiarities.

You belong to that small class of human that has two bodies, one phased out of reality (Is that what's happening? No ones really sure.) to somewhere else, almost always a male body and a female body which one can Switch back and forth to at will, or even Shift a mix between the two. The school admits Switchers as well as girls. Your particular genetic peculiarities (which are significantly more common in Switchers, usually in the form of missing body parts.) are as follows. 

  1. That you have no male body, only a totally female body and a mostly female body with a penis.

  2. That you are missing the right arm of your female body.

  3. That you are missing your gag reflex.




The last one almost certainly had no impact on your parents leaving you, but it just may have some sort of impact on the events that will eventually arrive. 

As with any Switcher missing limbs, the fact that you are missing one of your right arms lets you Shift select parts of the arm you do have into the empty space in this reality, like just the bone, and even specific parts of the bone. This allows you to make a bone cell-thin claw or blade out of your hand or arm, made strong by the cells that are still surrounding it, just somewhere else. This fact certainly has nothing to do with your desk in Math class being horribly scarred.

Incidentally, you are in Math class, your classmates around you eagerly awaiting the first sighting of the new Math teacher for this year. You like to think having to teach the angriest version of the deadliest teenager in the city had nothing to do with the last one leaving. 

You like thinking that thought for a bit until the most beautiful woman in the world walks in and begins writing 'Ms. Sofia Monette' on the chalkboard. Skin a few shades darker than yours, hair arranged in finger coils, golden brown when it meets the light right, her lips plump and red. In your mind, your mouth is agape, but you hold strong in reality. Until she speaks. With the lightest touch of a French accent (and isn't that so unfair), Sofia greets the class, "So sorry to not be here early, but I'm very glad to get to meet you all,” distributing her papers across her desk. Now your mouth is open in shock, along with almost every other student you know to be sapphic in the class, and a few other students aside. 

The students not rude enough to be too distracted to answer give a chorus of "Hello, Ms. Monette". After correcting a few students about the pronunciation, she goes on to go over the syllabus. You finally shut your face and try to listen, but you cant pay attention to the words she’s saying so much as how she's saying them and the faceparts she's using to say them. You also take particular note of the 'Ms.' she wrote on the board and the carefully clipped nails on the fingers she used to write it. God, those fingers though. 

Something in your gay lizard brain starts paying attention when Sofia says "I will be looking for an assistant to help me grade." Your heart stops. For the last few minutes, you'd barely had the thought, but you had just assumed there'd be no way to make this work. Like, of course people crush on their teachers, but no one actually goes for it, right? But goddammit, you're never the type to give up, and you're not gonna start now. You refuse to have any regrets about this angel of a human being. You can’t just let her pass you by. But that means doing this in a way that doesn't jeopardize her job, which you consider basically the worst case scenario. This whole situation is resting on a razor's edge, but isn't your hand made of razors? That cute little sentence means nothing and this is a terrible idea, but by god that's not gonna stop you! 

As Sofia describes how the year is going to go, your friend Carmina leans over to you, whispering. "I see that look on your face, Vati. Don't tell me you're thinking of doing something THAT stupid?" 

"What look? Do I look like the kind of person to do something stupid?" 

"I meeean, are you seriously gonna try to fuck a teacher?" 

That's not what I want with her THANK YOU V MUCH, you think. "What? No dude, she's hot, but that would just get her in trouble. I'm not a bitch, Carmina." 

"Alright, sorry. You just looked really um... determined?"

"I just don't want to look like a dumbass in front of her. I want to do better this year." 

She smiles and whispers, "Damn right! I believe in you, babe," crinkling her eyes as she says 'babe' like she knows it annoys you. You shake your head and smile.

After taking role and carefully studying faces to remember them better, Sofia dismisses class. 2 other students line up in front of Sofia's desk to volunteer to be her assistant. You smile at them, knowing you hold the trump card. When they finish, Sofia greets you. "Parvati, right? How can I help you?" She glances down at your necklace and smiles slightly. 

"I was hoping I could apply to be your assistant, Miss. I think you'll want me." 

"Oh? And why is that?" She raises an eyebrow and you grin. 

"I have a perfect memory. I've never forgotten anything I've seen, heard or sensed any other way. I'll remember all the answer keys without having to look again, I'll remember the grades of every student, and I know every calculation I've ever done and every law and formula I've seen." 

She raises her other eyebrow to match. "That is impressive and useful. Hmm. I spoke with the previous teacher, and I don't mean to insult you, but if that’s all true, why have you had so much difficulty with these classes?" Oh. You'd be more hurt, but her expression is of pure concern. 

You sigh. "I guess. I just. Have trouble applying it all. A scenario that calls for a certain approach doesn't look like it does. I don't really know how to explain it. There's a lot of problems." She purses her lips, then opens her mouth. Before she can speak, you blurt, maybe a little too loud, "Actually! Oops sorry, um. I was hoping you would tutor me some? Mr. Blethfeld did. Um, for a while." She hmms again.

"I can try to fit you in, but I can't promise very much time to ourselves." 

You think you might be blushing a little at the wording, but you stammer, "I-it doesn't have to be a lot! The assistant work will probably help some too." I just want to spend any time at all with you, you think.

She appears to think for a bit, before coming to a decision. "Bien. I'll take you on as my assistant as well as tutor you when I can. I really think you can excel in this class, given the right effort." You smile wide. 

"Thank you so much. I won't let you down. I really look forward to working with you." At this, she smiles back, making your knees go weak and your heart pound. 

"I can't wait to get to know you, Parvati. You seem like a very interesting girl." Now you're sure you're blushing. 

You stammer out a goodbye and walk away, glancing back after a few feet. When you see that her attention is on the papers on her desk, you continue to stare until you lightly run into the door, thankfully not loud enough to draw her attention, you think.

The other two who also applied to be Sofia's assistant are both standing in the hallway, talking. You walk past them, pointedly not rubbing it in their faces. One of them is a Switcher. You guess they're new this year because you don't recognize them, and they're in female form, or one of them anyways (they could be trans. or you guess they could be one of the other 5 intersex switchers predicted to live in America), but you can tell they're probably a Switcher by the necklace they wear. It's clearly of a style that suggests it opens backwards to reveal Verto Amber inside, a rich orange stone that prevents Switching on line of sight at close enough range. 

Switchers tend to carry some on them so as to avoid things like absentmindedly Switching while sitting in a light enough chair, thereby taking the chair out of this reality and falling on their ass. You wear a heart shaped necklace that was silver, but is now painted the oranges, pinks and white of the lesbian flag in sequenced curves and swirls.

This being your last class of the day, you're free to go to the office and get the German class you started taking this year changed to a French class. Then you head to your dorm room, which thankfully are all single-occupant after age 12. You gingerly close the door and start dancing around the room, eventually collapsing onto your bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

‘I can't wait to get to know you, Parvati. You seem like a very interesting girl.’ 

The words run through your head, again and again, as perfect as the first time. This is going to be hell. You smile the biggest smile you can remember having, thinking about hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m well aware that the new lesbian flag wasn’t made until like 10 years after this story starts, but I prefer it so i’m going to use it! I’ll try to stay as consistent as I can to the time, but I honestly don’t remember much about 2008 (plus i was 9) and research is often a lot of work for little reward. I’ll do my best though! I hope you enjoyed! This is pretty much the first thing I've ever written, and I've had an unbelievable amount of fun with it! Who knew writing when you aren't forced to and actually have an idea you care about is fun? ❤️ Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Here's what Parvati's Necklace looks like: https://imgur.com/a/PpVmdQI I'm working on modeling it in Blender and putting it in Sims 4 but oh god it's so hard (or i'm just dumb :/ )
> 
> This is pretty much how I imagine Sofia to look: https://imgur.com/a/mHatXts You'll see Sofia describe Parvati later, and I'll post pictures of both her bodies there.
> 
> Oh! Also, I have a discord for Sapphic Teratophiliacs: https://discord.gg/nxjJdxC Join for really hot monster girls!


	3. Throw Your Life Away

You start laughing at the absolutely fucking stupid thing Gavin's talking about. Barbara's cackling pretty hard too. "You cahn’t suck against... gravity 10 meters more, up...wot?” 

“HOW do you confuse your own self mid-sentence?" 

"Wot if you wot, but chu couldn't wot wot?" Barbara impersonates. 

"Alright, so what have you been learning, Parvati?" Gavin asks, face red.

"Nice transition. You know she loves talking about herself so much." 

"Well, I don't know about learning, but... there's this girl." 

Barbara snorts and Gavin says, "There's ALWAYS a girl with you." 

"Yeah but this girl's different! I swear, I'd throw away my whole life for a chance with her, but she's so nice I know she would never ask me to! PLUS, she's fucking French!" 

"Sounds more like YOU'RE fucking French, eh? Eh?" Pungirl says. 

"Ughhhh. I don't think that's happening anytime soon." 

"What do you mean?” 

"Yeah Parvati, you’ve never had any problem getting trim. Is she hetero?" 

"No... I mean I don’t know yet, she really could be... it’s complicated.” 

“Well why’s it complicated?” Barbara asks, unhelpfully not dropping the topic. “And didn’t you say there’s no exchange programs at your school?” Fuck. You forget that some other people have good memories too sometimes. Perfect memories don’t necessarily work if you’re not trying to remember something. 

“Umm like I said, it’s just complicated, okay?” 

Barbara narrows her eyes. “Parvaaaaati, how old is this 'girl'?” Gavin’s eyes widen. 

“Ummm, I mean she looks pretty young. For a teacher.” For some ungodly reason, Gavin decided to take a drink of water right before you said that, and he spits it out, soaking his webcam. He makes some weird bird noises and runs off, presumably to get a towel or something.

“Wow, Parvati. What if he slips and dies in his state of porn plot imagination? Then it’s all on you.” She tsks, shaking her head in fake admonishment. Despite her joking tone, you frown. 

“It’s not fucking porn, Barb. These are real feelings, mostly just romantic even! I’ve barely looked at her chest at all.” You fold your arms in triumph for that trump card. At her look of disbelief, you tell her, “Her face is waaaay more interesting.” At this, she seems to believe you. 

"Isn’t that illegal or something?” 

“Nope. Trust me, I’ve done so much research. It’s just really disastrous to her career if anyone finds out.” You frown and look down, fearful of even the thought. “But that’s the absolute last thing I want.” 

“Parvati, it could still happen.” 

“That’s why the decision’s going to be up to her.” 

“And you know there are reasons it’s not allowed? She could seriously hurt you, emotionally and mentally.” 

“Anyone I date could do that. This is no more dangerous. Look, if I get to know her and she seems careless, mean or exploitative, I’ll stop pursuing this. But I swear to god that’s not gonna happen.” 

Before Barbara can think of another way to dissuade you, Gavin returns, smothering his webcam with a towel. Thankfully, his mic is separate from his webcam, unmolested by loud cleaning sounds. He has a lot of tech on account of his production job over in England.

Gavin still looks red. You think he might have always had a teensy weensy crush on you, even him being 3 years older, and this is certainly not helping matters. Barbara catches him up on what you talked about while he was gone. “Oh yeah, you really shouldn’t get involved in something like that, it could go suuuper wrong.” He winks like he doesn’t know Barbara’s also looking at her screen. 

“Jesus Gavin, I know you think it’s hot or whate-“ 

“Perish the thought! I just think the heart wants what the heart wants. It’s not like it’s illegal, right?” Barbara rolls her eyes, still looking concerned. 

You try to assuage her fears. “Hey, Barb, you know I'll be fine. I’m a big girl.” You’ve caught more bodies and broken more hearts than both of them combined, but you don’t want to bring that up again. It's caused hurt feelings in the past.

Barbara looks maaaaybe a little bit less unhappy about the situation. “Yeah. Just be careful, please.” 

“You know me; always careful.” 

“Could you please start being careful? For this?” 

“Barb, I am more invested in this than I’ve ever been for anything in my life. Of course I’ll be careful."

You say your goodbyes and plan to chat again tomorrow before you close your laptop. You love those guys. You met them on the RT site in 2006, when you were 16, Gav was 19 and Barb was 18. You had been watching Red vs Blue for a few months before realizing that there was a community site, and in short order, you found them. All 3 of you are pretty hot shit on the site. Gavin's even pretty chatty with the RT staff, especially Burnie and Geoff. There's been talk of bringing him in for some role on RvB season 7.

You look around your room, wondering what Sofia would think of all your stuff. Would she think the XBox is childish? Maybe you could explain to her the emotional depth of some of the story-based games you play, or how fucking cool it is to murder someone by falling on them with a blade from like 20 stories up. 

Would she appreciate the swirls and flowers in the leftover paint you bought for your necklace on the walls, above your bed, or would she think it a gaudy celebration of something that she thinks doesn't need to be flaunted? You very much hope not. That could get quite unpleasant, given your pride in who you are. 

You wonder what she would think of the 2 vibrators you put inside your mattress, and the frequency with which you use them. Would she be impressed that you so diligently haven’t thought about her while doing so the... one time? No, two times you have, since you met her? Or would she be put off by the fact that it’s a concern at all? You Shift your right arm away, moving your elbow forwards so your hand will Shift back inside the mattress, and grab the bullet vibe. You stroke it affectionately for a bit before realizing that that’s weird as fuck and pull your hand back out.

You’re sure she’d be appreciative of how neat your desk is, the few papers there are being arranged quite carefully so as to be unobtrusive. Unless...it’s too neat and she'd think you’re crazy or something. FUCK. None of this matters, she's gonna like you for who you are or... or it doesn't matter. She's not worth thinking about in that case. But after the last few days working together, you think better of her than that.

You've spent 6 hours in the last 3 days talking about her plan for the school year, along with you memorizing all her notes and asking questions about them. Unfortunately, she hasn't let you look at the tests, despite your legendary smooth talking. There's a lot of it that not only do you not understand, you can't imagine ever understanding. But you'll try your best. Maybe it will be enough this time. 

You decide to go for a walk to think about this better. As you make your way to the gardens, you completely neglect to remember to think any further about any sort of serious issue. Walking among the flowers, you happen upon a sight far sweeter than any plant.

It's a cat!

You love cats! But none of the teachers have ever really had pets, and the students aren't allowed them. It seems someone has wised up to the greatest priority of them all. The cat is a beautiful orange color, and pretty fluffy. 

You approach the cat, making kissy noises. It calmly walks away from you, but you follow at the same pace. This goes on until the cat jumps into the windowsill of one of the teacher's rooms. Now it sits still, perched up on the shelf, letting you approach. You hold your hand out so it can sniff it, and the cat seems to decide it trusts you, because it rubs its head up against your hand. You pet it, entranced for a while until you hear a voice. 

"Oh! Bonjour, Parvati." Oh your god. There she is, emerging out of some room in her suite. 

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Sofia. Er, Ms. Monette." 

"It's perfectly fine, dear." She smiles. "And feel free to call me Sofia when we're not in class." 

"OK. Um, I really didn't mean to intrude..." 

"C'est bon. Don't worry about it. If my little Soleil saw fit to bring you here, who am I to judge?" 

"Soleil? Is that a boy's name...?" She nods.   
"I'm surprised he let me pet him so readily." 

"Oh he's cautious around men, but he loves girls. Isn't that right my little sunshine? Just like mommy, yes you are, yes you are." She coos at him as your heart soars, dancing among angels, flirting with them like only your heart would dare. You have to remind it of who it should be focusing on, reaching up to drag it back down to earth. Um, metaphorically. 

"Ohh, you like girls too? I mean, um, so do I. Um, but you probably knew that." Wow, what the fuck was that? Anyways, you reach up to show her your necklace, painted in two shades each of orange and pink, with a white curve down the middle, lines swirling in sequence. 

"I noticed! It's beautiful work. Did you do the paint?" At your smile and nod, she says, "I love it. Even the lines aren't straight." 

"Hah! I was really proud of it... thank you for saying so." 

She smiles, saying "Of course."

While petting Soleil, she glances up at you and says, "At the risk of turning this into business, I wanted to tell you that we will have our first assignment today. We'll grade them together tomorrow afternoon, if that's alright? I know it's a Saturday." 

"Oh, yeah, that sounds fine. I've only got cross country earlier in the day." The first few assignments look easy, but holy shit, it looks like it's gonna be a nightmare down the road.

"I'll let you know about assignments farther in advance from now on."

You nod. “Well, thank you for letting me pet Soleil, but I should go. See you in class, Ms... Sofia.” 

“It was nice to see you,” she says, smiling.

Fuuuuuuck, you’ve got it bad. You turn to leave, quite reluctantly. You return to your walk through the gardens. You remember now that you wanted to think about some actually important stuff, but you don’t really want to think about how good you’re not going to be at math, so you think about something different. Should you actually be doing this? You could seriously fuck up her life if this goes badly.

…

Fuck.

There can’t be any harm in just… waiting, right? Making sure she knows how you feel, and seeing how she feels in return? Yeah. Yeahhhhh, that’s what you’ll do. You’ll just wait for her move.

So you do.


End file.
